“Hello, my friends. I’m going to take you to ____________ and later to the cheapest place to shop, a great restaurant, etc. And please–no tips–unless you really want to.”
You’re heard it before and so have I.
And if you’re an independent/low-budget traveler, you probably try to avoid taking tours–unless absolutely necessary. Chances are–you get by with your Lonely Planet guide or the rental of the audio guide, depending on where you are. Or you use your smart phone or some other device to read about the place while your visiting it.
To Go–or Not to Go–With a Guide
But at some point, like me, you might opt to use a guide. Maybe it’s too tricky to get to a certain place or you’re out of time and need to cram in a few spots. Or you really want someone knowledgeable to show you the place, especially if there’s history/ architecture involved–or local indigenous who are hard to reach–and you’d like to get the most out of the experience.
Unfortunately, not all tour guides are created equal. Quite a few are terrific–and I’m grateful to have had them. And some are–simply terrible. Here are some of my tips that should help you avoid–or, at least–deal with terrible tour guides and problems they present, as well as the traps they set.
Tour Guide Trickniques & Solutions
1. Premature Trust
If the tour guide is referring to you as “my friend” within a minute of meeting you, I can guarantee he won’t be. In fact, it’s likely that he (or she) is trying to establish some sort of premature intimacy and trust–as a con man/woman would do–in order to take advantage of you later.
Prevention/Solution
Take these terms of endearment with a grain of salt. Let the tour guide’s actions speak louder than his words.
2. Restaurant Rip-off
The tour guide takes you to a restaurant that looks low budget, but has no menu or no prices. If you ask, he gives a vague answer, leaves out drink prices or just says, “Don’t worry–be happy. It’s cheap.” Later–when the bill comes–you find out it was pricey. The drinks were more than the meal. Or the prices simply seem wrong. You then see him and the owner, whom you now realize is his buddy, shaking hands. Uh oh…you’ve been set up!
Prevention/Solution
Ask questions! If the drinks are expensive, drink your bottled water you’re carrying with you and/or something to add to it (eg, Gatorade powder). Most often, no one cares. As for the overpriced restaurant scam, you really need to ask a lot of questions beforehand. I got sloppy with this in Palestine and was unpleasantly surprised when I got slapped with a $15 for a meal that seemed to be worth half that price. How’d I get sucked in? Not asking enough questions due to premature trust.
3. Shopping Scams
This is tricky because sometimes a good tour guide will truly know the best place–outside the city you’re staying in–to take you for bargains. And if you’ve got your eye on something unique (eg, indigenous), you might want to take advantage of it. The problem? How do you know if he’s taking you to the best place? And how do you know if the owner is his friend or not–and if he’s out to trick you?
Tortilla maker/weaver in Chiapas, Mexico
Prevention/Solution
You need to do your homework well in advance. Talk to the locals and other travelers to find out what prices should be–in advance. Research the types of arts and crafts you’re looking to buy and check the city prices before you head out. You should then have an idea as to what an acceptable price is.
And if you catch your guide lying at any point, especially about something like a store being “the only and the cheapest place you can buy this _______,” don’t believe another word out of his mouth.
4. Pseudo Tour Guide
Ever have a guide who knows less than you do? Or what if his English is so poor that you have no clue what he’s talking about?
How about the ones who memorized a few paragraphs from an encyclopedia and speak with an annoying staccato rhythm or whiny intonation? It’s worse than nails on a chalkboard or bamboo under your own nails. If you ask a question that requires them to deviate from the “script,” they can’t answer.
Prevention/Solution
Again, it comes down to doing your homework–not just about the place you’re going to, but about the tour guide or the agency you’re considering.
Talk to fellow travelers, look for recommendations on the Internet and read your Lonely Planet carefully (read between the lines). Also, make sure the tour guide is an official one who’s ideally attended some sort of classes or received a certificate in tourism. It’s no guarantee, but hopefully that will mean he’s not the worst of the worst.
Tours That Are Treats–not Traps
And so, my friends, if you do your homework, you’ll do better. I promise. And no tips (until the end of the tour–and only if you feel like it). In Mexico, I went on a tour of mysterious and magical Chamula with a guide who spoke English–and the local indigenous language–well. He know the customs, traditions and history and provided us with the best experience possible. This was important because it’s the kind of town where tourists aren’t welcomed with open arms.
Alberto–awesome tour guide in Chiapas, Mexico
I also had a great experience in Berlin–with someone who’d studied the area you’re in–in-depth; he’d gotten a degree in German history and philosophy. He showed us Berlin from several perspectives–including an intellectual one–and it was, by far, one of the best tours I’ve ever taken.
How about you?
What sort of tour guide “trickniques” have you encountered while traveling? How do you prevent these situations from occurring and what do you do if you somehow find yourself in one of them? What about treats–ie, great tour guide experiences? What about tipping after a so so tour?
Photos (c) L Egle, 2010, except the one of the tour guide with the umbrella (credit goes to A.M. Kuchling.