The Itinerary: A Whirlwind Tour of 6 Countries
1. Drink in Scotland (Solo Travel): Whisky tasting, exploring castles, and hiking
2. Bike through the Western Balkans (Croatia, Bosnia, Albania with my boyfriend and two friends): A self-guided bike tour with them after two solo nights in Dubrovnik
3. Shop in Morocco: Exploring medinas, souks, a Berber village, and a beach town
The Journey Begins: Scotland and the Balkans
In Scotland, I kept busy with castle tours, whisky tastings, and hikes. For several days, grief was kept at bay, though thoughts of my mom surfaced occasionally. Although she tended to be drawn to England, I imagined how she would have loved the drama and history of Scotland.
The Western Balkans leg provided physical challenges that kept me focused. The hectic nature of our bike tour—early mornings, long rides, and brief stops—left little time for rumination. Still, memories of my mom surfaced, especially while swimming in the Adriatic, reminding me of her fear of water. Having my boyfriend with me was comforting during some of these moments.
Arriving solo in Marrakesh felt like entering a different world. The beauty of my riad in the medina was almost dreamlike, offering a cocoon-like respite from the city’s chaos. While shopping and sightseeing, I found myself wishing I could share the experience with my mom, particularly when choosing rugs—her expertise in interior design would have been invaluable.
A chance encounter with two sisters at ancient tombs led to a magical travel moment, sharing stories of loss and connection. These unexpected connections are what I’ve always loved about travel.
But then, grief gripped me
It was in Morocco that grief finally caught up with me. One morning, as I watched the sunrise from the riad’s rooftop, surrounded by white and pink roses and the songs of hundreds of birds, I was overwhelmed with memories of my mom. She had loved birds and roses, and suddenly, I felt her absence acutely.
The tears came in a flood, followed by a day of emptiness. I relived how my mom had passed and the years prior to it, as well as certain phases of her life. I spent mostly in my air-conditioned room, sheltering from both the heat wave and my resurfaced grief. I felt immobilized. I didn’t fight it, however. I let myself sit with it and the next day, it mostly passed.
I then moved on a Berber village for hiking (I paid a local to take me on a serious hike) and Essouria, a beach town to chill and do my real shopping. While the tears did return a few times, there was moments of OKness and clarity. I did my best to stay in the moment and enjoy myself.
It was in Morocco that grief finally caught up with me. One morning, as I watched the sunrise from the riad’s rooftop, surrounded by white and pink roses and the songs of hundreds of birds, I was overwhelmed with memories of my mom. She had loved birds and roses, and suddenly, I felt her absence acutely.
In the beach town, I stayed in a lovely riad, owned by a super nice couple. I borrowed a pair a pants from the wife because it was so chilly at night. She also took me to the section of the spice market she prefers. Meanwhile, her husband helped me find a place to eat where I would have a truly local experience. My final day, he trudged with me and my suitcase (I had to buy it to carry a rug) through the medina and out thte main drag where my car was waiting. At 5 am.
Reflections on Travel and Grief
This journey taught me that while travel can offer temporary escapes and new perspectives, it doesn’t erase grief. Instead, it can provide:
-
- moments of distraction and joy
-
- new experiences to process emotions
-
- unexpected connections with others
-
- spaces for reflection and remembrance
Ultimately, travel during grief is a personal choice. Some might want to stay local and not venture out. Others might want a major trip to somewhere exotic, full of activities and tourism.
For me, this trip was just right. It offered brief reprieves, moments of intense emotion, and new contexts for processing my loss. While it didn’t “cure” my grief, it did provide a unique way to live with it, honor my mom’s memory, and continue my own life’s journey.
The pain of loss may always be there, but so too are the beautiful, unexpected moments that travel can bring—moments that remind us of the preciousness of life and the enduring nature of love.
*****
Have you traveled while experiencing grief? Where did you go and why? What was the experience like for you? Wherever you are in the process, I wish you the best.